Thursday, December 18, 2008

Yes I Have A Very Big Problem

If you feel that life was not easy, if you've got some problems seem endless, you need your self-initiated recovery. A first step in the recovery process is facing the fact that our suffering is unlikely to magically overcome on its own. We must come to grips with the fact it will take some perseverance and determination to change the way we have suffered over the years. Although this may sound hard or impossible at first, constructively working at changing your situation often demands less effort and stress than continuing to fear it. Maybe we expend enormous energy in attempts to hide our suffering, and/or push and force through it. And this improves the feelings of helplessness in the wake of its acute presence.

In a matter-of-fact manner, acknowledge that you have acute problem and suffering. We know that people often view their suffering as embarrassing and shameful. As a result of such perceptions, we may shroud our suffering in a "conspiracy of silence." Unsurprisingly, family, friends, and co-workers know it, and are usually unsure of whether or not to maintain contact, talk about it, etc. Such uncertainty may create uneasiness and discomfort in ourselves.

However, much of the uneasiness and uncertainty felt by us can be significantly reduced by acknowledging in an open and matter of fact manner that we have big problems. If we choose, it also gives us an opportunity to talk about it and "gives us permission" to openly share the problem. Disclosure is a proactive strategy that affords us the opportunity to address our problems in a matter of fact. Doing so increases our comfort level because we begin to see our problems in a more positive light. This new perception finally facilitates changing our view of problems and suffering as the "shameful." The situation got better when we finally began to talk about it and it did not seem so bad. We opened up to a friend and it all spilled out in tears and emotion as we realized that people did care about us. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. The time will come when you can see tragedy and comedy clearly.

Changing situation needs persistence and determination. However, your recovery process really needs less effort, struggle, and embarrassment than the negative emotionality felt when we live a life focused on hiding, concealing, and fighting the problems. Hiding or fighting demands a huge number of vigilance and surveillance, and this only tends to feed the destructive cycle. There are many people who have made significant achievements in releasing themselves from the handicapping grip of their acute problems. Many have become so well-recovered that most people are unaware they have experienced big problems. They really live a new day, a new life.

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