Thursday, October 30, 2008

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Did you ever wonder how many different thoughts can be going on in your head at one time? Countless. Limitless. Like a little society of flying words blasting aimlessly around in our heads with reckless abandon. Did you ever pick up on a few? Like "I'm so fat" or "I can't do this" or "My parent was right I never will amount to anything." Maybe you've even cheered someone else on and told them "You can do it", "I believe in you" but when it comes down to your turn you hear things from yourself like "I can't" or "I feel (or look) silly" or "how am I ever....." (You get the picture)

In this day and age of terrorism, poor health care, pollution, global health issues, and declining middle class, things can seem pretty scary and uncertain. It's no wonder, with new types of crimes to replace old outdated ones, and world situations that have some just scratching their heads that we feel like an amusement park ride just spinning out of control sometimes. It's in these times of most uncertainty that we need our friends close. Some would say we need our enemies closer. But did you ever stop to question whether or not you may be subconsciously self destructive? Whether you may be your own enemy? And do you think it's something that can not have a very strong impact on your life? You may be subconsciously "misguided."

Have you ever experienced how individuals with a negative attitude always seems have some trauma (or drama!) to complain about? It seems like things are always "happening" to them. They probably have or will have some health issue come up at some time too. It's a "victim" mentality, and it can lead to depression and physical illness. How about that other person, the one who is always cheerful. So constantly cheerful that you sometimes just would like to slug them! How do they do that? How can anyone do that? No matter what they're dealing with they are always positive and optimistic.

To see things with a positive "spin" even at the most depressed times in life, takes practice. What seems like a monumental task is really just a series of small changes. And desire.

To change a behavior or action, you have to change your thoughts. You may have heard the concept before. You may think it's 50 affirmations of " I love me" a day or some other "hype", but the truth is, it IS something that has to take place. It is something that has been physically measured and documented in studies. So you must believe you can and you must have a strong desire.

The first step is to make sure you have forgiven yourself for everything. EVERYTHING. It might take awhile. It's ok, you're worth it!! Now, there can be and have been positive benefits from repeating affirmations customized to your situation or desire to change, but if you don't believe them, then all you are doing is enhancing the negativity. If you give off negativity you will certainly receive negativity back. We must get out of that "victim" mentality and just accept that "life happens."

The next thing you must do is listen to yourself and make efforts to correct yourself. Kind of like coaching or teaching yourself to rethink. If you can't say "I am beautiful" and believe it, then start with things like "I looked pretty good in that outfit the other day" or "those new shoes made me feel beautiful". Instead of saying "I can't do anything right" start with "I did a really good job on that proposal last week" or "that was a great hole in one last month!" Stop and relive the good feeling. This is also an instant mood elevator.

Feel the real feeling associated with that one, little thing that made you feel good. Make the feelings bigger; pat yourself on that back so to speak. Did you know that your body can't tell the difference between an emotion based on a real event or just one made up in you head? Realize that any accomplishment is, well, an accomplishment! It need not ever be measured by anyone else's. Except maybe your own, when you are stronger, for motivation. Keep doing this like a series of "baby steps." Take certain times in your day, and evaluate the types of thoughts that are going through your mind. They are probably different at work than they are at home. They are probably different when you are watching TV than when you are with your friends or family. Maybe they are very different when you are with your family. Realize that these thoughts have been responsible for your present actions, as well as your present circumstances.

Try a positive thought stated out loud with belief (aka an affirmation!) Write something down. Something good for your future. Something like "every day I get better at making positive changes in my life and the lives of those I love most." Try getting very specific. The more specific, the better. Try it for a series of days, with whatever it is you want to change. What have you got to lose? Your circumstances will never just change "someday" but they can start changing "today." You may not be able to tell right away, but you will see yourself change if you really want to. That "desire" thing again!

Everyone in life will face difficult times. They will come and they will go and they will come again. We need to accept that. We need to be our own life coaches and cheer ourselves on. We need to be our own friends. We may not always be cheery and happy, but we don't need to be our own worst enemy. Make an effort to be your own best friend. The hard times will come again and again, and your best friend will always stand with you through them!

Small changes focused on daily will turn your course and you won't be able to miss the results! It will get easier. It will become second nature. You will become your own coach and your own friend.

Source:

Douglas Spencer

http://www.ForSuccessInLife.info

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