Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The #1 Missing Element in Self-Help

Everybody has problems. Yes, everybody. It's true, even those people that you look at and wonder if they have any problems at all, they have problems, too. What's the difference between them and you? Those other people are probably doing something about their problems. They are helping themselves, taking action, making things happen, not sitting back and letting their problems control them or get the best of them. That's the difference, right there.

It's far easier said than done to "do something about your problems." But, let's define "doing something" more clearly first. One person may hate their job, and they are actively sending out resumes, building contacts, and seeking new opportunities. They have a positive mindset that there is a job out there that will make them happy and they are completely open to that opportunity when it arises. How about the woman who is extremely unhappy in her marriage, but worried about her children and finances? Maybe she's taken on a side job to save some money and secure her own and her children's future before she leaves? These two people are taking action to help themselves. The simple answers of "just quit your job" or "just leave your husband" are not good ones, and these examples of happier self-helpers who are taking action illustrate that more clearly.

As the story unfolds, you would see that the two people in the examples above are happier, because they have helped themselves conquer some problems and some unhappiness in their lives. They took control of the situation, and acted in a way that furthered their personal growth. Those people that you see that never seem to get away from their problems are missing a critical component in the self-help process: ACTION. Without action, nothing happens.

Talking about your problems starts out as helpful, but without the action component, talking about your problems soon becomes whining about your problems. Taking action is critical to succeeding in solving your problems. Too many people just sit around feeling sorry for themselves, wallowing in their own pity because they cannot solve their problems effectively. Again, for the record, those people that seem "problem-free" are not! They are just people that have learned to solve their problems effectively and remain positive in life. They are not more "lucky" than you, you are not "down on your luck," there are no excuses like that. They are working hard and taking action!

Want to solve your problems? Begin by clearing your head of all negativity. Work hard at establishing a positive mind set, for both your conscious mind and your unconscious mind. Take a few steps back from those people in your life that foster negativity. Watch those people that seem to conquer their problems, in ways that seem effortless to you. And, begin to take action toward solving your problems. Imagine your life without a specific problem that troubles you. And, focus on reaching that place in your life. Seize opportunities to make changes that are necessary. Stop talking, start acting!


Justin Blake


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